i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Also, beer. Big fan.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
