actually, I'm a sock model
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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