Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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