He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize