You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
