Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
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