hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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