Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
