Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize