I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
