And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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