He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
babies were throwing up all over the place
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
