Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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