She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
