He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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