508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
