508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
