I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
