i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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