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• (503): View more from Oregon

  There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  how else could I explain the last few years

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• (925): View more from California

  I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

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• (+49): View more from Germany

  he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.

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• (916): View more from California

  I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower wine is way better than shower beer.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night

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