Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
