Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
