their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize