Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
