Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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