You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
