I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
