Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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