Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
