6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
