Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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