they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
