He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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