whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
