So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
