im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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