u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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