It's like God shit irony all over that family
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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