I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
