It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ketchup is God's man juice
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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