a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
