I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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