Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
