And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
