What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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