Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You are a genius and a whore.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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