No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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