A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
