just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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