We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
