there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
