ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
