yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
