her vagine was all disorganized.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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