I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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