hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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