I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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