you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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