epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
