Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
