Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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