I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize