in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
